Ready... FIGHT

MORTAL KOMBAAAAATTTT

Actually, we were never allowed to play explicitly violent video games, but when my brother and I would go to the arcade every now and then, we would always try our hands at Street Fighter II. Then we would hurry on down to Aunt Francesca's for a slice of her homemade pound cake, which she sold for a nickel at Teddy's Bakery. I miss those days.

Okay, the nostalgia is unfounded for the latter part, but I really just felt like an old man talking about going to the arcade to play 2 dimensional video games with my brother. Do arcades still exist? I am aware of the existence of a place called "Dave and Busters" which portrays itself as an adult arcade (of which I am incredibly judgmental and skeptical). This seems incredibly stupid, especially outside of something being a corporate event or a team-building exercise... why would you want to go there? Or am I just a heartless old man now who doesn't have an inner child? Can you not just have your buddies over to play video games and have a few beers for free at home? Are you honestly looking to meet someone at one of these places? Is there a large costumed rodent that serves you pizza?

So, what does this have to do with sports, sexuality, and politics, you ask?

Well, first, to sports. The always fun rivalry between UNC coach Roy Williams, and The Devil himself Mike Krzyzewski has heated up again:


Okay, not quite that many. But for an old man, he does too many.

Coach K took time out of his busy schedule of pampering referees and rigging clocks to hurl a minor insult towards UNC (regarding its injuries).


I WANT COOKIES NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Williams responded:"Regardless of what somebody else says about they have injuries too, which is a bunch of bunk, so I don't give a crap what somebody else says, but coach their own damn team, I'll coach my team -- in case anybody has heard some statements about that"

Things like this are good for sports, they just build intensity and give charisma to coaches, who are often becoming politically correct sideshows these days. If I think of any other possible coaching rivalries perhaps I will post on them.

And the other rivalry is: Michelle Obama vs Cindy McCain.

Beltway insiders AP and MW, loyal roommates of TL, pointed out Cindy's cougarlike glare to TL today. And honestly, how could you not like Michelle Obama? Well, Cindy has a great reason. In response to Michelle's comment that she was proud of the country 'for the first time in my adult life', Cindy McCain came back with the inspiring "I have, and always will be, proud of my country". Not to be mean, but if anyone can honestly say that, they would either have to have multiple personalities, an extremely sheltered upbringing coupled with homegrown ignorance, or a Rockefeller. I am proud of what this country has stood for in the past, and some of what it stands for today, but it is dangerous to have unconditional pride in anything so large and powerful... and corrupt. So, let the catfight begin, because I want to see the wax fly:



There you have it.

Baseball needs to hurry up and start.

"If I step aside, there's nobody speaking for the human life amendment, theres nobody standing up strongly for the second amendment, there's nobody standing up for the fair tax, nobody's out there really talking about how to deal with the illegal immigration issue, nobody's talking about the federal marriage amendment..." "...conservatives are going to feel like they're... frankly being ignored"

Mike Huckabee in a CNN interview

Let's see here...
Human Life amendment : strike one
Less Gun Control: strike two
Fair Tax: ball one
Illegal Immigration: ball two (but probably a bad call)
Federal Marriage Amendment: Steeeeeeee-rike three!

Apparently Johan Santana was pitching in this metaphorical game of baseball.

Now, for a disclaimer: I keep focusing on Huckabee not because I feel he has a real chance of being elected, rather for what he is saying the neo-conservative base has aligned itself with. It is a Jean-Marie Le Pen type of nationalistic fervor that worries me.

And who is really being ignored? Conservatives? You're telling me people who won't get an abortion, aren't (usually) gay, and probably don't have illegal immigrants threatening them in any way shape or form are being ignored because they can't force their beliefs on others? If that is where the conservative base is headed, let them keep their guns and just shoot me now. Lord knows it wouldn't be a hate crime. Being ignored. Seriously. C'mon. More like undereducated underprivileged youth at risk for pregnancy, gays and lesbians, and Hispanic minorities (legal and not) are being ignored, and actively discriminated against within a government that is supposed to be protecting them.

On another note, his first date with his wife, Janet, was at a bowling alley. How charming. Perhaps they ate refried beans afterwards and watched three's company. Who would marry such a man?:


Look, I know its not right to attack his wife on here, but she is downright creepy. I didn't even photoshop. The kicker? the picture was found on a blog titled 'housewives 4 huck'. I'm so glad he is going to protect your marriages, and defend your rights to make sandwiches for your husbands and cry secretly in the pantry because you wish you never had children.

So. All of this neo-conservative moving and shaking, which will subsequently be changed to standing and not-ever-shutting-the-hell-up, because shaking is immoral, has gotten me wondering lately. It is an interesting question, and it has a disclaimer to follow:

Where would this nation be today if 9-11 had never happened?

I am not trying in any way to insult the memory of those lost that day, or suggest we shouldn't have responded in one way or another. I am just concerned that suddenly the multinational, multi-ethnic group of people that passed away that day have been transformed into pureblooded anglo-protestant families out of Norman Rockwell paintings. Not only do I hate those paintings, but I hate that idea.

When something shocking happens, it is easy to get clouded up in fear, and your judgment can certainly be impaired. But what if it hadn't happened? Would we be restricting civil liberties as much? Would there be a logic of 'national security' behind everything, from marriage to abortion to diplomacy?

It is clearly difficult to put ourselves back into the impossibly happy realm of pre-9/11 politics. But even then the term post-9/11 politics makes me worry about the necessity to explain our actions to our own people, and to the world. Dismissing explanation in favor of a quick, gut wrenching remembrance is lazy and ignorant.

I think it is an impossibly question, but I believe looking to our past, and the direction our society was headed before a horrific alteration of our path can give us a lot of answers of where we are headed now.

I hope that made any sense.

Valentine's Day

Well, yall have all heard the various arguments about Valentine's Day by now, and why it is reviled and beloved, dreaded and looked forward too, and everything else about it. Besides it being pretty heterocentric (but not purposely, our society is 90% straight), it doesn't really bother me one way or the other. I generally dislike the month of February, and the crappy weather that comes along with it. Since my move to DC, it has been sunny maybe 2-3 days out of 14. The point is, having a holiday celebrating 'love' is okay, but can we at least have it some time of year where its warm out? c'mon.

So why, TL, are you in a grumpy mood? It was pejorative sling day. When casually homophobic comments seem to come at an all time high, more so than your average day, enough that it gets on your nerves and you get angry at all of the breeder folk out there.

Wait, I just said breeder. that is so heterophobic. Just like cracker is racist.

Well, you can get upset once you drop the whole 'gay people can't have children therefore they should not be able to marry' argument. Until then, you suggest that the purpose of heterosexual relationships is, indeed, to breed. So shut up.

I won't get into specifics about things that were said today at work, but I will say 'gay' was slung around as a pejorative term by several co-workers. I was also referred to as 'such a guy' and a 'ladies man'. Accepting chocolates from another male I was jokingly deemed homophobic because I had morning face (which was interpreted as angry/apprehensive face). Then when I said I was very happy to have chocolate, I was told that I shouldn't be THAT excited about it; that I wouldn't want to sound gay or anything.

Here's the deal, folks: It's completely normal for gays and lesbians to hear pejorative, homophobic terms a few times a day out in the world, and for the most part, it is dismissed as a cultural ignorance that is more automatic than hateful, and not intentionally ill-willed. One or two times a day shouldn't really be happening, but its no biggie.

But I'm sure others can relate here. I am seen as straight in a workplace that might not be too gay-friendly. I would like to keep my job. If I criticize one of my superiors for an unintentionally pejorative (RK will have a fit about those two words being used) term, then I risk getting on their bad side, and being mistreated.

So I choose my battles. I dismiss the small things, go home, and reheat yesterday's meal, and have a cookie and ice cream or something.

But there are some days where the air must carry the ghost of Falwell mixed with some of the hot air from Fred Phelps. And everyone seems to make little, unintentionally harmful comments, that do, indeed, add up.

"But when I call something gay, I mean it like 'stupid'"

If something is gay, it is gay! I understand the stereotype, and it isn't entirely ficticious. If you see a dildo-waving drag queen rocking out to cher in the back of a rainbow flag toting jetta, then call that 'gay' all you want. If you see two men engaged in sexual activity with one another, that is pretty damn gay too. But otherwise, try to use something else. In the meantime, us gheys will try not to hold it against you.

Unless, of course, you are ex-Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn, taunting gay passers by as 'faggots' in Cleveland: Link Here. Maybe it isn't true, but i'm sure he would get off the hook either way. This blog is considering sending him last year's homo heisman out of spite alone. Perhaps meeting Jared on those subway commercials made him a bit uncomfortable about his sexuality.

Pictures to come.

Kicking the Can

I had to put down my anime so I could quickly rebut that last post! JK, JK!

(moving on.)

I was so torn on Sunday. On the one hand, I'm done with the Boston thing. How can I... communicate this?...



On the other hand, I probably like the Manning clan less than the Hilton brood. To wit:



I decided to feel the following: Can I be done with football now and look forward to glorious beautiful baseball?

Also, my apologies for not blawging about presidential politics, but I TA for a class about that. I don't want to work at home, if you catch my drift.

Just you wait till I get my RAM upgraded this weekend! Oh the Photoshopping to be had!

This was a highly ineffective post. My apologies. But you're not angry at me, you're angry at the Mannings. That's right.

Kicking and Screaming

Last post, I gave y'all a picture of the 4 leading candidates for the presidency. I forgot another candidate who just won't go away. Here are three photos, in chronological order, of our forgotten candidate:

Holy Crap. I always thought he looked familiar.

Yes, it's true, readers. Mike Huckabee is actually infamously stupid TV icon Gomer Pyle. And he just won primaries in several large states. Congratulations. He is quite possibly the most frequent guest picture on our blog.

Do any of you ever have someone who thinks of you as a friend, and you don't quite feel the same? You just want to tell them someday "please leave me alone, I'm embarrassed to be seen with you and you masturbate to anime. And I don't like that." Yet they still cling to you like a desperate pup clings to his mother's teat. GO AWAY!

Well, okay then! That was a somewhat related tangent.

In other news, I am still trying to shy away from endorsing one candidate or another (on the blog) until a nomination has been given. And it's hard.

So to avoid doing so, its time for change. You be the judge on whether I just used a slogan. And if I did, what is the deal with that slogan? wouldn't a new president be a change one way or another regardless?

SEXUAL HARASSMENT

So, I recently got a job in the DC metro area, which obviously makes the political commentary of the blog more legitimate. But I want to show all of you that gender stereotypes most certainly go both ways.

The Scenario:

TL and a young female HR manager are going over company policies for behavior in the workplace. TL has not disclosed his sexuality, because frankly, he doesn't need to. TL never seems to come across to people as gay. Below is a general idea of what was said.

HR: So, to recap, it is okay to have some pictures up in your office, but having a picture of the latest swimsuit model is inappropriate. Any pictures showing too much cleavage or leg are inappropriate for the work place. its okay to have a picture of a girlfriend, just keep it appropriate.

TL: Not a problem.

HR: Good, moving on. Use of the internet in the office is strictly monitored. So if you want to check ESPN.com for the latest scores and updates you will have to do it on your own time, or during a break downstairs in the reading room. Checking the sports pages is inappropriate use of the internet, as is anything like playboy etc. Office computers are for work-related issues ONLY.

TL: Sounds good

Y'all get the idea. My only point is that the same woman who is training me about sexual harassment and discrimination is also making very heteronormative assumptions and very machoistic assumptions due to me being a masculine male. By masculine I mean appearance/vibe/mannerisms.

And while it is actually good idea to tell me not to look at sports pages, the assumption is just about as good as me saying the following:

TL: The workplace is not a place to paint your nails or read Cosmo. Don't put too many frilly pink things on your desk, because they might be offensive to clients. If you would like to bake cookies for everyone, use the office kitchen, where you belong.

TL: The office isn't a place to gossip with the girlfriends over the phone or watch episodes of sex in the city online. Please keep internet use to work-related issues. If you need to read up on your soap operas, you may do so during your break, downstairs.

Yeah, I know, women do get this kinda garbage more often, and I'm not trying to play victim here, I just find it humorous.

And life is good.

:)