Valentine's Day

Well, yall have all heard the various arguments about Valentine's Day by now, and why it is reviled and beloved, dreaded and looked forward too, and everything else about it. Besides it being pretty heterocentric (but not purposely, our society is 90% straight), it doesn't really bother me one way or the other. I generally dislike the month of February, and the crappy weather that comes along with it. Since my move to DC, it has been sunny maybe 2-3 days out of 14. The point is, having a holiday celebrating 'love' is okay, but can we at least have it some time of year where its warm out? c'mon.

So why, TL, are you in a grumpy mood? It was pejorative sling day. When casually homophobic comments seem to come at an all time high, more so than your average day, enough that it gets on your nerves and you get angry at all of the breeder folk out there.

Wait, I just said breeder. that is so heterophobic. Just like cracker is racist.

Well, you can get upset once you drop the whole 'gay people can't have children therefore they should not be able to marry' argument. Until then, you suggest that the purpose of heterosexual relationships is, indeed, to breed. So shut up.

I won't get into specifics about things that were said today at work, but I will say 'gay' was slung around as a pejorative term by several co-workers. I was also referred to as 'such a guy' and a 'ladies man'. Accepting chocolates from another male I was jokingly deemed homophobic because I had morning face (which was interpreted as angry/apprehensive face). Then when I said I was very happy to have chocolate, I was told that I shouldn't be THAT excited about it; that I wouldn't want to sound gay or anything.

Here's the deal, folks: It's completely normal for gays and lesbians to hear pejorative, homophobic terms a few times a day out in the world, and for the most part, it is dismissed as a cultural ignorance that is more automatic than hateful, and not intentionally ill-willed. One or two times a day shouldn't really be happening, but its no biggie.

But I'm sure others can relate here. I am seen as straight in a workplace that might not be too gay-friendly. I would like to keep my job. If I criticize one of my superiors for an unintentionally pejorative (RK will have a fit about those two words being used) term, then I risk getting on their bad side, and being mistreated.

So I choose my battles. I dismiss the small things, go home, and reheat yesterday's meal, and have a cookie and ice cream or something.

But there are some days where the air must carry the ghost of Falwell mixed with some of the hot air from Fred Phelps. And everyone seems to make little, unintentionally harmful comments, that do, indeed, add up.

"But when I call something gay, I mean it like 'stupid'"

If something is gay, it is gay! I understand the stereotype, and it isn't entirely ficticious. If you see a dildo-waving drag queen rocking out to cher in the back of a rainbow flag toting jetta, then call that 'gay' all you want. If you see two men engaged in sexual activity with one another, that is pretty damn gay too. But otherwise, try to use something else. In the meantime, us gheys will try not to hold it against you.

Unless, of course, you are ex-Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn, taunting gay passers by as 'faggots' in Cleveland: Link Here. Maybe it isn't true, but i'm sure he would get off the hook either way. This blog is considering sending him last year's homo heisman out of spite alone. Perhaps meeting Jared on those subway commercials made him a bit uncomfortable about his sexuality.

Pictures to come.