So a gay preacher's kid and a straight North Dakotan Jew walk into a bar.
WAIT we swear its not even a joke. The following (and very excitingly colored) pie charts sum up the essences of each administrator with access to the blog. Have a look!
TL:
As you can see, Chick-fil-a combo meals make up approximately 48% of TL's essence.
Sports make up another 20% of TL's essence. His likes include: College sports (the ACC), MLB (The Atlanta Braves) Roger Federer (approx. 40% of this section), Hating on Andy Roddick, and World Cup Soccer. Don't be surprised to catch him watching UEFA cup championships on any given day.
Sarcasm comes in with a healthy 15% of essence. More on that later.
Politics comes in next at 10%, with an degree in international relations (world politics and policy), and a belief in the good the capitalist system can be used to create. Dislikes include: Hugo Chavez Likes include: Hugo Chavez. He's just so crazy its funny.
Next, TL's inherent good nature wraps up his essence with a delightful bow made up only with the smiles and laughter that fill his heart and warm your soul! Told you that sarcasm would come into play...
And finally, the pie-chart maker that is www.mathwarehouse.com has conveniently labeled both 1% homosexuality and 1% Southern Baptist upbringing as 'other'. It has also designated other with the most bland color from its oh-so-already-wonderful palette. This is just further evidence of the anti-gay bias within the United States. Mathwarehouse.com is clearly part of the extreme Christian right. The only reason we have to thank them for also labeling my Southern Baptist roots as 'other' would be activist judges. You get the point though. I like guys and I simultaneously believe I am going to hell because of it. Just kidding! We'll leave the self-hating to our Jewish co-blogger, RK!
RK:
RK's essence begins with a delicate balance of wit, charm, and style, without which, he would be considered a common pervert. His likes include: Flashy neckties, fancy pants, and designer glasses.
Secondly, RK's essence is made of Sheetz breakfast bagelz. With a z. Many a late night pilgrimage has been made just to fill up on the butter soaked, sausage, double egg, and cheese delicacy sent from heaven to taunt fat people from sea to shining sea. About $2.50. Open 24 Hours, and the person serving you is once again, probably underage.
Political swagger is not only a part of RK's degree, but it is a part of his being. Growing up in a peasant family in the foothills of the Ural Mountains, oh wait, North Dakota (is it that much different?) RK was actually a reincarnation of Antonio Gramsci. His parents tried to shelter him from the inherent call of higher education in order to repress his inner politik. Escaping the confines of his humble farm beginning, RK has now become a leading thinker in the political community.
What would RK be without a big ol' dose of self hate. As both a Jewish man and the boyfriend of a model, he gets by with his self-deprecating humor, and his sexual insecurity (He has a keen attraction to political cougars who have neck hairs (Nancy misses you, RK))
After this comes his love of sports. A diehard follower of the Minnesota Twins, he also has been known to support Big 10 Athletics, the Patriots (dis-gusting.) and Maria Sharapova's right breast.
Lastly, RK eats every item seperately and at once during his meals. For example: #1 Combo. Robert will: Eat all fries. Then, and only then, he will open up his sandwich holder, and eat his sandwich.) This is essential to his essence.
Well, that's enough for now. Consider yourself introduced
