Saturday, December 1, 2007

College Football...

A recap of a conversation early in the season:

TL: This game is ridiculous, it's tied up with 2 minutes left.... Both QB's are hot, instead of overtime, both quarterbacks should meet at the 50 yard line and make out.

RK: who wins?

TL: does it even matter?

RK: *announcer voice* the qb's are making out at midfield! game over ladies and gents!

Well, on that note, (Following WVU's collapse and Mizzou's blowout) the BCS has just descended to comparable levels of chaos and confusion with:

-Los Angeles Riots, 1992
-Baghdad, current
-Huntington's Clash of Civilizations, the future
-
lastly, whatever the hell is going on in this music video...

Perhaps allowing established rap artists, such as Mr. Dogg, to vote in a BCS poll would solve the problem. It would probably make about as much sense.

Well, now, I will present my inaugural all-looks Heisman Award.

To be a candidate for the Homo Heisman (how clever!), the QB must already be an established possibility for the Heisman Trophy. Through diligent research, I will select the best photo available on the internet of the candidates, and then compare them.




















What a shame this honor didn't exist last season, because Brady Quinn might've actually been deserving of an award. While the Fighting-I...haven't-won-a-bowl-since-1994-rish are a much hated team by myself, may God bless Brady Quinn and his body.

Brady Quinn: Hate him or not, he's a handsome feller....
....moving on to the 2007 CONTENDERS for....













Colt Brennan, Hawaii
well, Colt, you have a nice body. But questionable hair choices... (A map of Hawaii...in your hair?) and a sex-crime scandal while at the university of Colorado pretty much push you out of contention. That and you almost lost to Washington.














Chase Daniel, Mizzou

Well, he's got some rugged handsome charm, a knack for passing, and some good stats. While handsome, in a sort of uber-jock sort of way, I pick up a little bit of an "i'm too straight' vibe from this QB. Well, 3rd place isn't bad, Mr. Daniel.

Likes: Boobies, Meat, Lifting weights, and hitting things with his head
















Tim Tebow, Florida
well outside of his perfectly sculpted, hairless chest, Tebow has boyish good looks, a cute smile, a friendly disposition, and nice eyes. His downside includes a beakish nose, but that is more than okay considering his parents were missionaries. My soft spot for PK's and MK's comes heavily into play here.

Who says MK's and PK's can't have good bodies?





Darren McFadden, Arkansas

Well, to top off being this season's most prolific BCS conference rusher, Mr. McFadden is quite the looker as well. A great smile, handsome face, and nice legs round it out. I think Darren might be the most well-roundedly handsome guy in the race. But it's close with Tebow...

Extra points for wearing the pig hat, Darren... and look at those calf muscles! Damn.



Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a Tie.

TIM TEBOW and DARREN MCFADDEN are tied for good looks. To decide, they must now make out at the 50 yard-line of any stadium within driving distance of our writer, TL.

Strangely enough, my actual Heisman ballot would probably be between these two anyway. Perhaps they can make out at the ceremony in NYC.

Sorry this blog was so gay, but you can blame the gay agenda for that. And those damn activist judges.

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