My Beef with the EU

I have a rather bizarre theory to present. Please, before reading further, do realize that this is a very rough, not-very-thought-out presentation of ideas. I don't often post disclaimers like this, but every now and then, it is warranted due to my passionate nature. This same nature re-did the blog-header. Vibrant, is it not?

So here is my claim (in old-school SAT format analogy!):

128.) The European Union : The United States of America : :

A) Umbrella: Windshield Wiper
B) Apple : Microsoft
C) Octopus: Chicken
D) Banana: Newt Gingrich
E) Chipotle: Taco Bell

Well, as much as Chipotle is awesome, sometimes I still crave a steak grilled-stuft-burrito from Taco Bell. I know its completely disgusting, but it is simultaneously awesome. Kind of like Courtney Love in this video.

Oh, right... The answer: (B)


New EU Comes in 8 Slick Colors! EU NANO!

I always secretly hope to get spam that says "EU ENLARGMENT PILZ $3.40 NO TURKEY ALLOWED!"

I am really rambling, perhaps because it is getting late. But onward, ho! (not you, Courtney Love)...

So many poli-sci students nowadays enjoy pulling out the 'well healthcare in the EU... well taxes in the EU... well environmental policy in the EU...' argument to suggest that we in America are just NOT WITH IT at all. And while we are most certainly not with it, I would like to put it out there that neither is the EU. They are like Apple circa 1998 (with the release of everyone's favorite candy-colored computer, the I-mac). Wow, an alternative to the status-quo! A new product, with a different mouse and a new style!

And all I have heard since is how wonderful everything Apple makes, and why everyone must have the new i-shit. Haha, I shit. Well, everybody shits. That's my point. While first a quaint hero rising against the hegemonic Microsoft (aka USA), Apple was admired by hipsters and computer-geeks alike. The familiar apple logo appeared on far too many new candy-colored VW bugs as bumper stickers. And now? The once friendly savior of those enslaved to Microsoft has now become its own monster. It too can succumb to defects, viruses, poor-quality manufacturing, environmental issues, and more. Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates? Surprisingly, the latter wins on philanthropy. I'm just pointing things out here.

It is easy to jump on the i-phone bandwagon, but I urge you to take a look at the at&t only tie in. Apple is just as much a money-making machine as the next guy. Same deal with the EU.

The EU is just as flawed (if not more) than the US. Sure, their currency is strong, but they have their bank crises. They have their military problems (Balkans, anyone?). For every economic protectionist policy we have, they have one for their own agricultural problem. Fair Trade? Not so hot. Even the environment... do your research and they aren't that far ahead, and even then its more a result of their cities being planned before the dawn of the automobile, and therefore conveniently mixed-use sustainability. I'm not pointing out US superiority here. I am only pointing out that the fashionable EU-centric response by political-hipsters will no longer be tolerated by me.

Both companies offer great products. Both companies have major flaws. Just go easy there. Or just jump on the next 'oh this is just SO great' bandwagon. I suggest Ron Paul. Sorry this post was kind of murky and dull. It seemed like a good idea at the start, and descended into a pictureless bog of despair. Here's a video: